checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize