Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
