you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
