cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
