And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
