that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
