I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
