i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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