I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I forget how to act sober
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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