I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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