My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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