you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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