he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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