where does the pee come out of this thing
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
