I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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