I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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