he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize