oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
