Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
