we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
