the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she smelled like a LAN party
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize