A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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