dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
