is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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