I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
