wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
