Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
