at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
