What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
