Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
