God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
