So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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