I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
