Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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