dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
