Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
