It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
