Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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