Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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