Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
