Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
