haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
