thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
