Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
