i need an iv and a liver transplant
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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