an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
