Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
