You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize