the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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