The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
