omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He did a backflip because drugs
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
