Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
