You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize