i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
