Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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