My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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