I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my shit smells like andre
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
