Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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