i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
