3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
