Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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