:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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