you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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